The subject of today's devotional returns me to a leg of my journey in Christ that I recall vividly. The experience of travelling to my own Golgotha. Unlike Jesus, I travelled this road with Christ alone. There were no mocking crowds, hateful critics or vengeful enemies shouting obscenities as I passed. There were no assaults to my body, no unjustified accusations ringing in my ears. Instead, I walked along still waters, inviting meadows and through dark forests with the Lord at my side. Though there were many bends, hills and valleys along the way, His firm but gentle staff directed my path. Looking back...I believe the privacy of our travels to be a tender mercy of God.
I was deep into therapy when encouraged to read Hannah Hurnard's book, Hinds Feet in High Places. I was not surprised to find her story to be a tool in my own self-sacrifice. Remarkably, God took my connection with the deer of scripture -which pants for the Living Water- and gifted me a persona for the journey. Like Hannah's character, I became a doe destined to climb to higher places in the presence of God.
I can't help but praise the Lord as I recall the moments we shared. His loving kindness was more than comforting as he revealed the poison in my soul and the hidden root ball that was smothering my heart. This ball was made up of sin's of the past, anger, bitterness and unforgiving pride; all twisting together to fashion a hideous shield. A force which held captive my true spirit, and kept transforming love out. God showed me so many sides of His character on the journey: His goodness to be strong when I was weary of the climb, His protection when I was afraid of what lurked in the woods, His faithfulness as each step was taken in unison,and his encouragement as every obstacle was faced together. His resolve to take the edge of His Word and cut away every wiry strand was my hope. Thank you Jesus...for leading me to the stone table!
Oswald Chambers proclaims in his devotional, unless we choose to die and experience our last day on earth with Christ only resurrected in the process, we do not experience true sanctification, (Chambers) This truth God revealed to me a few years ago as we paused upon the mountain top. Once I chose death, the road became my chrysalis. For a time I would retreat from the world and hide in the covering of the Lord until his transformation of my soul was complete. The feet I trudged up the hill of death upon...were exchanged for wings. My spirit now free to soar upon the wind of the Spirit. The deer's feet were tethered to the mountain peaks. A stunning view but limited. But...with WINGS! The Lord had so much more to show me.
The point in our journey where we teetered on red clay cliffs was not as terrifying as I first thought. Graciously, the Lord did not tell me where were going or what we would do when we reached our destination. In His wisdom He called me like Abraham to follow in faith. Upon the path He gave me visions like Joseph. In the forest He spoke to me; "be strong and of great courage," as he encouraged Joshua. His love continued, as he gave me hope with the promise of an eternal kingdom, just as He did with King David. Now...in the likeness of Moses, the Lord challenges me to face the Pharaoh of the spiritual world with His words, "Let my people go!"
I confess, when He lead me through the canyon, I sensed an altar coming. Like Isaac, I questioned where the sacrificial lamb would come from. "The Lord will provide," was my answer. I can still see the peachy canyon walls, barren and void of life. The crunching of my hoofs upon the rock created a beat for our ritual. Faster and faster we climbed as we neared the summit. I was anxious. The anticipation of the view to behold at the top of the mountain spurred me on.
I can not express the beauty of what Christ showed me upon Golgotha. I still struggle at times myself to hold onto the vision. Upon that peak Jesus offered me His Kingdom. He spoke to me of eternity and the place He had for me there. With joy, He promised resurrection and the glory of life found through death. My spirit delighted in His words, and so He lead me to the altar. I looked to the uncut stone slab that lay before us. How ancient and weathered it appeared. There were no nails, no hammers, no ties to be found. This was an altar of will. I was invited to life through death: Jesus would not force me.
I cried as I climbed upon the stone. Not because of fear, or regret, nor due to pain. My tears came from the love that Jesus was pouring over me. I knew the pain and the past it stemmed from would be destroyed there and then. My Savior was setting me free! I was consumed with thankfulness as I closed my eyes and surrendered myself to the GLORY OF GOD!
When it was over, Jesus showed me the root he cut from my soul. It was hideous and large. Dark as black soil with hundreds of long, hair like strands, the root was intact. No part of it left behind. I was amazed something so ugly came from within me. Yet, I could feel the freedom I had gained within. My heart could breathe at last.
I couldn't wait to tryout my wings!
Jesus promises; "For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it," (Luke 9:24). I can't help but notice the absence of the word, "want" in the second half of this verse. Jesus knows we don't want to lose our life. This is where the sacrifice comes into the picture. Choosing to give our lives up, against our desire, is what moves Jesus. Only love motivates a man or women...or God...to offer their life for the hope of eternity.
I can't promise your path to Golgotha will be like mine. Only Jesus knows what your journey holds. I can assure you of the Father's faithfulness through the climb, sacrifice and resurrection. I pray you trust the pierced hand of Christ and let Him lead you to the altar of sacrifice. I implore you to lie upon the stone in complete surrender. The wings are real my friend...and the view is glorious!
Come fly with us!
beautiful!
ReplyDelete