It was twelve years ago this month that I found myself "taxed" with a crippling pain in my back. I know I'm dramatic, but this is no attempt at an Oscar. One minute I was admiring my six month baby boy and the next I was writhing in pain. That evening, I was alone with my son as my CPA husband was in an important client meeting. Therefore, I did my best to recall my Lamaze and try to breathe deeply through the agony. Lamaze is a big fat scam! It didn't help me during the twenty-eight hour delivery of my son (Just ask the family and friends that still joke about my screams echoing through the Placentia Linda Hospital maternity ward, terrifying all within earshot), and it wasn't helping me then either.
Now, not quite healed from having had a difficult pregnancy and the delivery of my ten pound, fourteen ounce baby boy, I thought I would never, ever, feel that kind of pain again. I was tragically wrong! Unfortunately, we learned I was the proud parent of a kidney stone...the size of a dime. (Are you catching the number ten theme?) The diagnosis was not what my tired and weak body wanted to hear. Nor was my fatigued husband ready to take on more with my sudden health situation. Life felt out of control and I feared how I would manage caring for my small son.
I was taxed physically, emotionally and spiritually. I needed more than medical care, I needed the care of my Savior, for my faith in God's deliverance was turning to stone as well. This of course was something the doctor's could not help me with.
Unfortunately, I would have to undergo the most horrific medical experience of my life before relief would come.
Reporting to the facility where the doctors meant to hoist me into a dreadful "Tank" and proceed to blast my kidney stone with a laser, aimed at my side, I began to consider living with the pain. The procedure seemed more than I could bear. Another x-ray was taken to confirm the location of the double digit sized stone. My body was marked like a treasure map and I was sent to the the "disrobing room."
It was in the privacy of this small space that I fell to my knees: my heart as bare as my body before the Lord. I cried out to him; "spare me the pain" and the ordeal of what I considered a harsh treatment. Soon there was a knock on the door which brought me back to reality. Then, with nothing but a thin paper wrap draped about my altered form, I was led to the chamber of horrors.
Inside this sterile room, a crew of white coats scurried about, with their beady little eyes and noses twitching with excitement: a new experiment was underway and I was the object lesson. Before I could fully access the situation, I was guided to a bizarre contraption that looked like a large mechanical arm with six salad plate sized panels at it's one end. Instructions spilled from the only woman physician in the room who directed me to hoist my naked self up onto this metal contraption: basically it dawned on me, they intended to hoist me--in all my glory, like the catch of the day, into the holding tank. Mortified and quite unable to voice my objection--perhaps for the first time in my life--I surrendered myself to their will. The pain in my body was of no concern as the spider like arm lifted me above their heads and S-L-O-W-L-Y lowered me into the water. My body jerked at its coolness...was there no end to their torture!
I sat in that stainless steel monstrosity for...I don't know how long. My eyes closed to hold back tears. I was broken and at the end of my emotional rope. THEN...the laser gun operator--in the booth at the far side of the room--began to speak with an agitated voice. Everyone scurried to view monitors with puzzled brows. "Mrs. Frazier, we are having difficulty locating your stone, we'll have to take another x-ray to confirm its exact location before we can proceed."
I once more ascended like a cherub above the cloud of white coats and returned to the loading zone where I quickly donned my paper gown. Padding back to the gurney, I was informed of the next set of procedures for my treatment to which I instructed the doctors to put me under. They could do to me whatever they wished, but I was not able to continue conscious. My hope Jesus would rescue me had dried up...so I was checking out!
When I woke in the recovery room, queasy from the anesthesia, Kevin told me my stone was gone. Thankful the ordeal was over, I was ready to go home. However, realizing I hadn't grasped the situation clearly, my husband repeated his words and explained that when the doctors took the second x-ray they could no longer find the dime sized stone they had just filmed thirty minutes prior. Concerned it may have passed from my kidney into my bladder they decided to scope my system. They found no traces of a stone in my system.
I wasn't surprised by their attempts to medically explain what could have transpired to cause this outcome. However, I openly praised my LORD. He had come through for me, even when I had given up hope of being rescued. Oswald states we should confess our doubt of Jesus' deliverance this way; "Lord, I have had misgivings about You. I have not believed in Your abilities, but only my own. And I have not believed in Your almighty power apart from my finite understanding of it."
I have learned through this ordeal not to question the miraculous work of God. Regardless of the doctor's claims that perhaps there never was a stone to begin with, I KNOW the Lord healed me. A week later, my family was enjoying a walk along the beach. I suddenly became very away of a particular pain. Excusing myself I journied to the ladies room, where the Lord provided proof of His hand. I must say, though nothing can compare to the pride of motherhood, I was certainly proud of those bits of stone! There upon a throne of grace and mercy I praised my God. For he is good!
This act of love and kindness has supercharged my faith and since this experience I have found myself blessed with other "unexplainable" experiences. Faith in our God is truly warranted because He is faithful. He is good and He is kind. No matter what may come my way...I know Jesus is my foundation of STONE!
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