The question in today's devotional is weighty: "Has it ever dawned on you that you are responsible spiritually to God for other people?" Oswald begins his message with this heart stopping inquiry. Pondering what the Word has to say on this matter, I find I am inclined to sink deeper in my chair. How does one handle such responsibility with out feeling vulnerable? I am too aware of my own struggle to remain afloat in Christ, how then shall I "keep" another from drowning in sin? As if anticipating my self doubt, Oswald gently reminds me; "Our sufficiency is from God..." and God alone," (2 Corinthians 3:5NIV). Ahhh, a divine life preserver...to keep me from going under the wave of guilt headed my direction.
While I may have been saved from treading the sea of life in my own strength, I was not snatched from the water. No, God has work for me: "You shall be witnesses to Me..."(Acts 1:8). Though every part of my flesh desires to turn from the deep and paddle as fast as I can to shore, love for Jesus compels me to wade in the surf. For many still need rescuing from the turbulent sea of sin.
When I asked the Lord for a life application to today's devotional my thoughts drifted back to my young childhood. I do not enjoy wading in those polluted waters, therefore when I am prompted to return, I have come to trust the LORD is guiding me. Jesus has healed my heart, so I don't fear the currents of the past. Our journeys always cause swells of thankfulness. However, I tread cautiously, for I know the power of the deep. How thankful I am for the anchor of Christ!
We lived third house from the corner in a quaint neighborhood just south of the boulevard. Our brown lawn stood out among the sea of green on the block. However, the sharpest contrast to our shabby abode was found in the pristine Ozzy and Harriet home on our right. Our neighbors were as American Pie as it comes, right down to the white Patton leather shoes of their daughter. The perfect family of four: husband, wife, son and daughter, served as a constant vision of the way life was meant to be: at least in my young mind. He worked, Bonnie kept an immaculate home and the kids were perfect dolls...literally: they were always pressed and not a hair out of place. I took notice of their lifestyle and longed to be part of their family.
Bonnie showed kindness to me. I believe now it was the Lord acting through her. Many times she rescued me from childhood pranks. I was invited to lunch on occasion, and a few times I got to venture past the kitchen into their haven. There were even a few times she offered to cut my hair. Her kindness did not however, extend to all my family. I understood that Bonnie and my mother were not warm towards one another. While my older sisters tended to hold our mother's grudge, I simply could not. I was the recipient of her Christian charity and my young heart was drawn to our neighbors, regardless of family opinions.
A turning point in our relationship came when my younger sister and I were invited to join our neighbors in going to church. I jumped at the opportunity and did my best to make us presentable. I was six or seven years old at the time. The experience is well preserved in my mind. We had not attended services since our parents divorced and we no longer associated with the Mormon Temple. The campus was bright and pleasant and my experience in Sunday school has stayed with me. The soft voices, the felt story board, bible characters: the man in the white gown with the blue sash, the small chairs. I felt like I belonged and I did not want to leave.
My sister and I could hardly believe our good fortune was to continue with breakfast. Many of the parishioners had a ritual of eating at a chain pancake house after church. Our joy brought attention to our party and not long after entering the restaurant, a woman approached Bonnie. Her icy words are etched in my mind and still press upon my heart. "Bonnie, who on earth are these mangy little urchins?" I never heard Bonnie's response to the woman's cruel question. Perhaps God protected me from further injury. Nonetheless, Bonnie's coldness towards us afterwards cut deeper than the insult. My joy melted away as I turned to my little sister protectively. Her large eyes worked hard to blink back tears: anger squinted mine. The strawberry waffles with whip cream tasted bland as we sat in shame at the far end of the table, set apart. We said thank you all the way home but our hearts were heavy. We were never invited to go to church with them again. Sadly, a wall was erected between us and I was helpless to knock it down.
I wonder what of my life would have been different had my neighbors resolved to witness to us no matter the scorn of others. Certainly, Bonnie was compelled to reach out: her efforts are well noted up to the tragic day. I do not judge my former neighbors, for I understand how hard it is to keep your footing as the waves crash about us and in retreat try to draw us out to sea. My heart truly holds compassion for them. I myself have failed at times to be a good witness.
Oswald's questions continue: "Am I willing to be broken bread and poured-out wine for Him (Jesus)? Am I willing to be of no value to this age or this life except for one purpose and one alone--to be used to disciple men and women to the Lord Jesus Christ? The call to sacrifice ourselves for the sake of rescuing others is clear in God's message to us. Jesus was our living example of how to reach and minister to those lost at sea. His hand reached out to all: young, old, proud, humble, rich, poor, righteous, sinful, healthy, diseased. Jesus was not afraid to touch the dirty hands of a child, for He knew His love could wash her clean.
Though my dear neighbor appears to have drifted off course, the Lord was faithful in His pursuit of me. He sent several Bonnie's into my life, until finally one did not shy from the dirt of my past. This saint cried out to me,"Take hold of Jesus and be saved!" She spoke with authority and I responded. For her witness was full of compassion and absolutely anchored in Christ.
So, are we really to be our brother's keeper? I have only one response to this question: If not us then who? What service are we to Christ if we only save ourselves? We were commissioned to be fishers of men. Oswald inspires us to cry out over the crashing waves: "Take hold of Jesus and live!" For if we waiver in our devotion to His great cause, we risk being "set aside" in His work. The shame that follows such rebellion will likely make one seasick. Likewise, those who are not secure in their commitment to Christ can be battered by the open sea. I learned just a few years ago, a tidal wave crashed down upon my old neighbors: their family has tragically drifted apart. How the tide has turned. Now it is my turn to witness!!
Father God, hold me steady as I proclaim your goodness! For though I was lost at sea, I am now found. Anchored in Christ and Your Glory!
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