Ushering in His Presence

Over the past few weeks I have been battling a cold. I mean BATTLING! This one is a Whopper. One week I am voiceless, another I can't stop coughing, now I'm keeping Kleenex Tissues in business. With so much to do, so many good opportunities and only twenty-four hours to do them in, I have to accept I can't do them all. How willing is my Spirit though my flesh is currently weak. Still, the "blog must go on" so, while it may be a day late on the calendar, I trust God's timing is perfect! I have been pondering none the less!

The journey I am on through Oswald Chambers, My Utmost For His Highest, has become a marvelous blessing. Tomorrow I will have completed my first month in the shadow of Oswald's perspective and I am richer for the experience. The power of God's Word yoked with the faithful heart of a servant is transforming. I marvel at the conversations I've had with the Lord and yet, I am not surprised by them. For God is more eager to meet with me, than I am to sit as his feet. The remarkable truth is,this pleasure is mine for the taking, as long as I desire it. God will never be the one to end our time together. This is just one aspect of his immeasurable love.

I remember thinking the other day--after writing about my fear of the ocean and all the various "jaws" in her depths-- of the years I spent on the beach unsupervised. Sun up to sun down and often into the night, I roamed the peninsula in search of adventure. I mean no disrespect to my father, but the truth is, his desire was not to be with me. He was eager to meet with others. Yet, as I pondered the past God revealed a most touching truth...not once did God take his eyes off of me. Though my father lived in rebellion to his role, my Heavenly Father was faithful in his.

Obedience is the topic of Oswald's devotional. A word most find cutting, if not at least abrasive. The word itself points out that we are not in charge: that there is someone higher than us to whom we are to surrender our will. Oh, but we want our way in our time, so we pretend not to hear the voice of God's Spirit telling us what to do. We dance around issues and in so doing we rob ourselves of God's presence.

Yes, God's presence. For this is what I have come to know: though the Holy Spirit resides within us and the eyes of God are always upon us, we may not always experience his presence. Charles Stanley spoke about this in his sermon this morning...again I note God's timing. Being sick, I stayed home to absorb his insight on obedience and it ignited Oswald's devotional in my mind.

In the Old Testament the saints were noted as being heroes of faith, for they obeyed the call and direction of God without the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. Their faith and hope in God was indeed amazing. In their stories we find the Holy Spirit came upon them--as the Lord willed--in order to further his plan. Yet, their response to the the Spirit's prompting or invitation is what brought forth the presence of Almighty God.

Consider Moses' first encounter of God's presence.

"There the angel of the Lord appeared to him in flames of fire from within a bush. Moses saw that though the bush was on fire it did not burn up.So Moses thought, "I will go over and see this strange sight--why the bush does not burn up." When the Lord saw that he had gone over to look, God called to him from within the bush, "Moses! Moses!"

Oh, how I love this story! The visual of God posing for Moses in the midst of his creation. Almighty God silently burning on his own mountain waiting to be noticed by a single man. Amazing! Of course God knew Moses would do a double take when he saw the bush on fire. Yet,God would not make him take one single step towards it. The great I Am would simply...be. It was up to Moses to spot him among the wilderness and to draw near.

How wonderful of God to use fire. I'm sure there are other reasons for this display of his glory, however, I can't help giggle at the idea God was simply on fire--burning with desire--to begin his relationship with Moses. The two would become amazingly close over the years to come. Can you imagine Almighty God silently holding his breath in anticipation of revealing himself to his dear servant? What wheels were about to be set in motion!

Ah, but so much was riding on Moses reaction. Had he not taken a second look at the "strange sight," Moses would have missed an opportunity to dwell in the midst of the Creator of heaven and earth. Moses could have let the flock's needs come before his own. He could have tried to explain away the inflamed bush, or simply dismiss it as unimportant to him.

Fortunately, when Moses took notice of the bush, he turned and moved towards God with wonder. In other words, Moses surrendered his present agenda, to behold...he knew not what. He paused his own life to ponder something unfamiliar. Let us not forget he was in the middle of his work tending Jethro's flock. How many of us stop everything to move towards our own burning bush? Hmmm. I see God did not call out to Moses UNTIL he had first moved in the right direction, (Note to self!).

"When the Lord saw that he had gone over to look, God called to him from within the bush, Moses! Moses!"(Exodus 3:4NIV).

Something important happened next. Moses' response can not be over looked. He could have responded to the voice of God in any number of ways, and yet, Moses chose in that moment, to submit himself to the call. His very words convey his openness and availability to the God who cried out to him.

"And Moses said, "Here I am."

I wonder what my life would have been like growing up if my Dad had been open to God's call from the start. I dare say we would not have wandered in the desert for so long. Still, I was a stiff necked child with my own calls to obey. Nonetheless, I believe we both suffered through lack of obedience. The years spent under God's watchful eye, yet void of his comforting Presence, were many. I will never forget the moment God spoke my name, nor the message he conveyed. It is a moment burned on my heart. Years later I had the joy of escorting my Dad to his own burning bush, where He finally heeded God's call as well.

Moses surely had no idea when he set out to cross the desert with his father-in-laws flock, he would come face to face with Almighty God. Still, I find it interesting that Moses of his own choice came to "Horeb, the mountain of God," (Exodus 3:1NIV). I see a subtle work of the Spirit in this. Perhaps the Spirit came upon him and nudged his steps in the direction of God. For scripture teaches we do not come to the Father without the Father drawing us unto himself first. Therefore, I wonder if Moses knew the meaning of the name Horeb. I also wonder if Moses approached the mountain of God with his heart hungering to know God personally. He certainly sounded primed for a divine encounter, for there was no hesitation in his reply, "Here I am." (Exodus 3:4NIV). All this considered, Moses still chose to be obedient to the call and that made all the difference in his life and so many others.

I'd like to share one more thought regarding this passage. The moment Moses spoke, "Here I am," God gave him instructions.

"Do not come any closer," God said. "Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy ground."

Surely that spot in the desert was not made of sacred elements. I believe what made that spot holy ground was Moses' response. When God saw Moses move to the bush, he moved also to meet him there: God's Presence made the ground holy. Additionally, when Moses surrendered to the call of God, he was in sense pouring his own will on an altar before the Lord as a burnt offering.

When we obey the call of God we can expect the Presence of the Lord to follow. When we like Moses, surrender our will, our day, our ??? to the Almighty, we should be mindful we too stand on holy ground. In those moments I pray we are quick to remove our sandals and behold the Presence of the great I Am!

For this I know...God is burning bright in our world...watching to see who will "go over" and behold him, (Exodus 3:3).

Lord open our eyes to your glory. Holy Spirit prep our hearts that we too will invite your Presence by responding, "Here I am!"

Who Is the Lord?

Watching the evening news has become a health hazard for me. I seem to have the inability to remain calm as the news anchors report one human atrocity after the other. Fox news is my window to the world station of choice. They have the only reports I trust and yet, before the O'Reilly Factor is half way over, my blood pressure is at an unhealthy level.

Borrowing the words of the Psalmist I have cried out to God;

"If only you would slay the wicked, O God! Away from me you blood thirsty men! They speak of you with evil intent; your adversaries misuse your name. Do I not hate those who hate you? I have nothing but hatred for them; I count them my enemies." (Psalm 139)

Spending excessive time with this Psalm over the past few weeks, I found the Lord speaking to my warrior spirit. How ready I have been in the past to take up the sword in the name of Jesus. How willing I was to take up a holy grudge and issue a righteous rebuke on behalf of my King. Fortunately, God knew the nature of passionate children like me and wrote special scriptures to speak to hearts that abhor wickedness and sin.

"As the time approached for him to be taken up to heaven, Jesus resolutely set out for Jerusalem. And he sent messengers on ahead, who went into a Samaritan village to get things ready for him, but the people there did not welcome him, because he was heading for Jerusalem. When the disciples James and John saw this, they asked, "Lord, do you want us to call fire down from heaven to destroy them?" (Luke 9:51-54).

The villagers no doubt acted with evil intent. Their prejudice fueled their mistreatment and often harmful disrespect to Jews traveling to Jerusalem, (Luke 9:52 note). Their shameful treatment of the Lord and his disciples was surely upsetting. I can understand the anger of James and John. Still, their angry response to the Samaritan's sinful behavior was a poor representation of the God they claimed to follow.

"But Jesus turned and rebuked them, and they went to another village," (Luke 9:55).

I imagine James' and John's puffed out chests deflated quickly with their Lord's rebuke:

"You do not know what manner of spirit you are of," (Luke 9:55).

Oh what a tightrope we walk when we act on behalf of the Lord. Oswald reminds us that the Spirit of our Lord is governed with love. 1 Corinthian 13 defines love according to Jesus to be "patient, kind...it is not easily angered..." We are not told anger itself is a sin, however, we are warned, "In your anger do not sin," (Ephesians 4:26NIV).

While I accept one man does not run the country, or that a single woman does not govern congress, I find myself fighting thoughts and attitudes of impeachment and disdain. I cringe over abuse of power and double standard behaviors and I wonder if our country's role as world leader is coming to a sad and tragic end. Leaders that don't represent godly opinions, righteous dreams and wholesome desires drive me to my knees in prayer. Still, my prayers should be for the lost and depraved and not against them.

The Spirit calls me to remember we are in a battle and who the enemy truly is. Many times it seems like other people are the Lord's adversaries. Yet, scripture makes it clear that the enemy of God and of our souls is the devil. "Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour," (1 Peter 5:8). Those who are weak to his power are prisoners and often casualties of spiritual war.

The Psalmist appears to have received a rebuke from the Lord in response to his righteous anger, for his closing words depict a more humble spirit:

"Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting," (Psalm 139:22-24NIV).

Oswald continues with his insight; "We serve Jesus in a spirit that is not his, and hurt him with our defense of him." Like James and John we seek to smite the wicked ourselves, clearly forgetting our own sinful stumbles. Even so, all that we do to others we do unto our God. How much better to extend grace in love than pick up the hammer and nails of righteous indignation.

The brothers received a rebuke for their misrepresentation of Christ, Moses lost entering the promised land for modeling his own anger as God's before the people. How wise is the man or woman who can pause in trying moments to ask the question, "Who are you Lord?" and then responds in His same manner. (Acts 25:16)

"Search me, O God...know my heart...see if there is any offensive way in me...and then lead me..." (Psalm 139:22NIV).

Now I think I'll ponder Luke 9:54. Could James and John REALLY call fire down from heaven? AMAZING!

Living Victoriously for God

Saul stood over the saint's lifeless body which was broken and bloody from the "righteous" kill. Haughty over his heritage and moral standing, Saul believed himself worthy to approve or disapprove of others, even unto death. Though his mind was full of God's Word and his life full of morality, Saul's heart was as empty of the Holy Spirit as Jesus' tomb. And though he willed the destruction of the apostle, Stephen's last words cried out on Saul's behalf; "Lord, do not hold this sin against them," (Acts 8:4) Stephen's lips were still warm with traces of prayer, as Heaven prepared for an uprising and crucifixion.

Saul was a man out for Christian blood. The follower's of Christ, known as The Way, were not deterred by threats from the Sanhedrin to be quiet. Therefore Saul sought to imprison them for their blasphemous worship of Jesus. For all his knowledge of Old Testament scriptures, he was blind to the truth of Christ and ravaged the area looking to destroy the following of believers.

Remarkably, Saul's attempts did not hinder the early church they empowered it. Rather than stay a small sect in Jerusalem the church spread;

"On that day a great persecution broke out against the church at Jerusalem, and all except the apostles were scattered throughout Judea and Samaria," (Acts 8:1NIV).

Believing himself to be a holy warrior, Saul's righteous rage spurred on his attempts at seeking glory for God. Sadly the contrary was achieved. Saul attacked the new believers yet, every harsh word, lashing or stone thrown was aimed at the heart of God.

In today's devotional Oswald Chambers speaks about living our way or God's way. The very first line in his devotional hit me like a splash of cold water. He poses the question to believers; "Are you determined to have your own way in living for God?" I had to sit with this a bit. I couldn't help think of the contrast of Saul: a misguided zealot, and Paul: a servant of Christ as I pondered Oswald's question. Like a word problem I took the question apart and worked at it one section at a time.

First, I considered; "Are you determined...?" Well, yes. I believe I am. Much of my energy is spent seeking and responding to what I believe I am called to do. I am resolved to seek, serve and receive in Christ. My heart is set on doing the will of my Father. I was off to a promising start.

I didn't find the next portion of Oswald's question so easily answered: "...to have your own way..." I began to squirm in my seat. Hm mm. I do like what I like. I got up to get some more coffee as I pondered my will. I sipped my coffee standing at the kitchen sink. After rinsing my cup, I decided to wash the morning dishes. Oh...was that the laundry buzzer? Apparently, sitting with the Lord on this one was less enjoyable than folding clothes, (Oh, that says a LOT!). When I finally had the downstairs straightened and the beds made, I returned to the computer. My little stall was in vain. The question appeared on the screen bold as ever.

There was no detour around it, I had to fess up. I absolutely want my own way! I wake up and have an idea of how I want my day to go. I think about what I want to do or accomplish and I make choices in my day geared towards those goals. I anticipate good times with friends and family and I make plans to indulge myself. The calendar is filled with my own way! (Deep sigh). I feel like I've just gone to confession.

After my self examination something wonderful happened. As I was sitting in the booth feeling heavy with my "will" upon my shoulders, the Holy Spirit prodded me to move on to the next part of Oswald's question.

"...in living for God?"

Like the sun rise at dawn wakes a song in the bird, these four words lifted a weight from my heart. I can answer this question without pause. I do live for God! I wake with anticipation of His plan for me. I spend my days in His presence. I seek His word for instruction on how to live for Him. I have surrendered my way to His and I will do so again and again. Will I do so perfectly? Never! But striving to live in "perfect oneness with Him," is something I do.(Oswald). So, realizing there is hope in Jesus, I hold fast to the promise of God's Word.

"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death," (Romans 8:1-2).

Oswald's question; "Are you determined to have your own way in living for God?" is not one to simply respond to. We must take a good look at our will and hold it up to our actions. Are we proclaiming to live for the Lord and merely working our own will in our lives? (Oswald). That would be a serious situation with serious consequences.

Yet, for those who seek, search, surrender and sacrifice, they can rest in the truth. Dying to self for the sake of the King is a life long process. Today's surrender will likely be different than tomorrow's challenge. Therefore, we strive to set God above and before all else: live with His plan on the forefront of our mind and seak his peace in our steps. We lean on Christ for the vision and the strength and the moment to moment victory.

Saul lived for God the only way he knew how. He followed the rules of the law of sin and he rejoiced in the victories over apparent enemies of the Lord. Yet, Stephen's last words were powerful...for they echoed Christ's own...and Saul was the recipient of grace. Like Stephen, Saul would see the heaven's open and the glory of God stand before him. Struck himself by a stone...the living stone...Saul was slain on the road to Damascus. His own heart pierced by the Sword of the Spirit, Jesus' words.

"I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting," (Acts 9:5).

Instantly, living for God had an entirely new meaning. Saul's attempts to glorify God, in a moment were nailed to the cross, as he realized the vanity of his service. In a flash his spiritual eyes were opened as his physical eyes were shut. The road to Damascus led to his own symbolic tomb, where for three days Saul would neither eat or drink. Every distraction removed, God spoke to Saul of the darkness in his soul and the truth that would bring him new life. On the third day the Lord sent the disciple Ananias to Saul to roll back the symbolic stone and restore his sight. However, Saul would emerge from the darkness with more than his vision. Ananias announced (through resurrection in Christ),he would now be indwelled by the Holy Spirit.

The transformation of Saul was complete as he sought to follow Jesus: to live his life completely surrendered to the Lord. His new life came with a new name, Paul, and the world would never be the same. This story depicts the power of a life abandoned to Christ. A life of victory over the grave as well as self will. Paul had nothing more than we to live such an abundant life in the Spirit. This zealot was seriously misguided in his own service to God. Yet, through the power of prayer, and humility...the dead in sin can rise again in Christ...and live for God victoriously!!!

I am so blessed to be on the winning team.

Go--Fight--Live!!!!!

Before the Throne

Mary and Martha were two sisters who loved Jesus and ministered to Him during his three year ministry on earth. The bible shares a moment in their lives when Jesus and his disciples visited their home. Martha minded the necessary tasks of preparing for the Master and his men, while Mary dodged the chores or disregarded them. Instead of lending a hand to Martha, Mary was found sitting at the Lord's feet. In their story we find two women who were compelled to respond to the presence of God. One woman prepared her home for an honored guest, the other prepared her heart for an divine tenant.

The scene unfolds in my mind as I picture a home busting at the seams with visitors: the excited banter about the days miracles bouncing off the walls. "And then the Master spit on the ground and rubbed the dirt over the blind man's eyes..." explains one of the disciples to a wide-eyed audience. The other apostles jump in every now and then to share their perspective of the healing as well. In the center of all the excitement sits Jesus with Mary close by His heels.

I imagine while the men continue their animated narrations, Martha scurries through the crowd filling cups, serving food and delightedly tending to the needs of her guests. However, something causes her demeanor to change. Perhaps the number of guests increases as word gets out Jesus is staying at her home, and before she knows it her two hands are two too few. Martha's joy of hostessing sours and she soon resents Mary's station at the feet of Jesus. Frustrated and perhaps feeling unappreciated, Martha goes to the Lord with her complaint.

"Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!"

I love that God included Martha's mild tantrum in scripture! I find it completely realistic. I think I would be hard pressed to count on two hands the number of times I've dared to speak to the Lord in this manner. Simply stated, there have been times when I have felt abandoned or alone and have cried out to God in my frustration, just like Martha.

"Uh, excuse me Lord...a little help down here would be nice!"

Yes, I confess I have approached the throne more haughty than humble a time or...twelve! I am sure I have no idea just how close to God's wrath I have come...if it were not for the blood of Jesus. In those regrettable moments conviction is quickly upon me, which prompts repentance and sets me restoring a right fellowship with God. I hope this is how Martha responded to Jesus as well.

Nonetheless, I understand Martha's frustration. Sometimes life seems unfair, out of balance or simply overwhelming. When things don't seem to be going as planned I can get upset and begin to worry. However, God's word tells us not to worry...about anything. Worry stands between us and the Lord. How do we get through a challenging life without worrying about our family, work, finances, future or health? We give our concerns to Jesus and trust Him to meet our needs. Oswald warns us the worldly view is to question taking our cares before the throne. Nonetheless, we find evidence of God's willingness to hear All our petitions...even those that may be worldly fashioned in scripture.

"The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God," (Philippians 4:5-6)

The apostle Paul shares this truth with us as an encouragement. We do not have to compartmentalize our concerns. God is willing to hear them all. Yet, we do well to remember to approach the throne of the Almighty with reverence and thanksgiving. Fortunately, in our moments of weakness when we may cop an attitude or whine, the Lord extends grace and mercy to us as He did to Martha. However, His response to our petition may stop us in our tracks.

While this scene depicts a lesson on priorities, I believe it has something to say about relationships as well. Carefully reading this story today, I saw a couple of important details in this passage that are worth noting.

First, it appears Martha has a close relationship with Jesus. This is evident in that she felt safe sharing with Him her unveiled feelings. In a culture where women were disregarded and given no voice, it is remarkable--to me--that Martha had this kind of access to the Lord's ear. Additionally, Martha's candor reveals there was a depth to their relationship which would grant freedom to speak so openly with Jesus. I can not imagine a hostess of any caliber sharing her burden with the guest of honor. I believe this shows a great closeness, if not family affection between them. It is absolutely true Jesus desires to have a close and personal relationship with us. Still, we should never forget He is GOD. Our petitions should be shared with praise and thanksgiving for the blessings He has bestowed upon us. I didn't hear thanksgiving in Martha's words...did you?

Secondly, I believe there is more to this account than the bible shares. I do not proclaim to have more of the story to tell. What I do have are questions connected to the abrupt end to the story. We are not granted knowledge of Martha's response to Jesus' gentle rebuke. I can't help wondering if it is because her response was not as it should have been. If this is the case...Martha and I could have some good conversations about lessons on submission, serving and sacrifice.

"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered,"you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."(Luke 10:41-42 NIV).

Jesus' words to Martha had to come as a surprise. Surely Martha did not expect to have Jesus suggest she was misguided in her efforts. Note the Lord's repeating of her name.

"Martha, Martha..." (Luke 10:41 NIV).

This suggests his need to calm her before he could get her attention to speak a word of reason to her. I can hear his soothing voice trying to draw her away from the thorny hedge of bitterness that was beginning to choke her.

Next, Jesus points out she is "worried and upset about many things," (Luke 10:41).

Here we are given insight to Martha's real problem. Her mind is not focused on Jesus and his kingdom work. Martha appears to be caught up in worldly thoughts and attitudes which blind her to the Spirit of peace that is in her presence. I wonder if Martha was battling jealousy of her sisters freedom to sit and ponder, or maybe she was feeling left out. Martha may have felt belittled in a role as servant. Perhaps it was pride in her belongings, her service and hospitality even her cooking, which fueled her desire to open her home. These motivations, rather than thankfulness, generosity and compassion would certainly fail to satisfy her in the long run.

Lest we consider ourselves more Mary than Martha, we ought to ponder the words of Oswald Chambers. Oswald spends two days emphasizing the need to keep clear our path to the throne. Nothing is to stand in front of Christ in our lives: not want, need, fear or desire.

"A warning which needs to be repeated is that "the cares of this world and the deceitfulness of riches," and the lust for other things, will choke out the life of God in us," (Matthew 13:22).

In a world that is dark and often grim we can easily look to tangible things or our own accomplishments for comfort or validation. Our attempts to satisfy our flesh and tend our own wounds,draw our eyes from the throne of God and place them on ourselves. This is never wise and will certainly require some form of rebuke.

Jesus makes it clear to Martha that she has a choice before her. She can remain in her pity party state of mind--and miss the joy of the moment--or she can cast aside her worldly concerns and join Mary at the feet of Jesus. Regardless of Martha's decision, the Lord points out to us all, Mary chose well. Mary placed her relationship with Christ before everything and He declares; "it will not be taken away from her," (Luke 10:42). When we set Jesus as the highest priority in our lives, we can be assured, "it will not be taken away" from us either, (Luke 10:42).

The contrast between these two sisters approach to Christ is note worthy. As followers of Christ we have a daily choice to make as well. Will we focus on what is lacking and keeps us from approaching the throne, or will we model Mary's behavior?

Like Martha, Mary had a relationship with Jesus. An intimacy which was not reached by busting her back serving the masses or tinkering with worldly cares. Their relationship was built over time spent in fellowship and communion. She didn't run to Jesus just to solve her problems, she sought Jesus because she enjoyed His company and she desired to learn from Him. I can not ignore Luke 10:39;

"She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what He said."

Mary was resolved to hear Jesus and I believe that is the major distinction between she and Martha. Scripture reveals Mary found her place at the Lord's feet: she sat at His feet in her home, she washes his feet with her tears at an other's table, she kneels below his pierced feet on the cross and later she clings to the risen Lord in the garden by His empty tomb.

Mary sought Jesus with her whole heart. She allowed nothing to stand between her and the throne of grace. Perhaps that is why she was blessed with His private greeting in the garden that glorious resurrection morning. How she clung to Jesus!

Oswald's warning is valid. It is frightfully easy to allow my desires and needs-- physical or emotional--to clutter my path to Jesus. Yet, I must remember living clutter free is a choice.

"Mary has chosen what is better," (Luke 10:42).

How I pray, I like Mary will make the best choice and cling to Jesus. If I choose otherwise and find myself crying out to the Lord, I Like Martha will receive His gentle rebuke reminding me "only one thing is needed,"( Luke 10:41).

"But seek His Kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well," (Luke 12:31).

Standing before the throne of God is a difficult thing to do...I am more inclined to kneel.

Screening God's Call

I turn the key in the lock and proceed to open the door with a hand full of plastic grocery bags. The task is frustrating because the groceries are heavy and restrict my fine motor skills. I don't know why I never set the bags down to open the door. I rebuke myself time and time again for being so silly. I guess I like the challenge. Several attempts later I finally feel the knob release and I quickly push the door open with my foot.

Upon entry I stumble in the dark over sorted laundry, but manage to use the overstuffed grocery bags to regain my balance. While I weave around our "so happy to see you" dog, who is leaping for joy about me, the phone begins to ring. Setting the groceries down, I massage blood back into my pinched fingers and casually cross the kitchen to the phone. I note the caller ID screen and turn to go about my business. My son trails behind me with a whining and grunting combo complaint for having to help carry in the groceries. He knows his song will not relieve him of this chore, however, it has become part of our ritual: like screening our calls. The phone continues to ring as we begin emptying the bags to put away the food. Finally, the machine kicks on and we hear the caller leave a message. I tend to dinner thankful for caller ID because I am simply too busy to stop and take a call.

Caller ID is one of pop-culture's great inventions. No more listening to the ramblings of solicitors who never pause to breath during their non-stop marathon sales pitch. No more having to decline invitations to donate my time, money or blood. Gone are the days of being caught off guard with a request to serve at school, church, or in your community. How wonderful to dodge making a political party pledge or...you fill in the blank. Imagine Independence from those surprise time consuming calls. Take your life back by installing a phone with this handy feature and enjoy your new found freedom! Yep, caller ID is one of our greatest inventions. Or is it?

Technology is a wonderful gift from the Lord. There is much good that has come from the advances of communication in our world. Yet, like all indulgences, there is need for balance and responsibility. Telephones are incredible devices which afford immediate access to others. Yet, they also hinder our availability to those in our presence. College professors can give you a number of reasons why cell phones are a nuisance: the fact they disrupt class, distract students, and become tools used to cheat are the three top issues. Professors have found the only way to hold their students attention is to forbid phones in class...period.

Who among us hasn't been in the middle of a conversation with someone only to be put off while they check their caller ID or answer their phone. Somehow we've become obsessed with controlling who we talk to and when. In the process, we've also become rude and self focused. Putting someone on hold whether in person or on line is simply poor manners and yet, as a society it has become the norm.

Oswald Chambers reminds us in his devotional how important it is for us to remain open to the Lord's plans. In other words, we are to consider the Lord has a purpose and plan for our day and therefore we should keep our line open and plans flexible. When we pack our day with activity or responsibility we operate without wiggle room and greatly hinder our availability to the Lord's invitations to join His work. Wiggle room is essential for the believer who desires to be used by God. When we have no wiggle room we are tempted to us our caller ID to hide.

God over the past few weeks has been nudging me regarding my caller ID. More and more I feel compelled to return to my pre-ID ways of just answering the phone. As I pondered the growing conviction it dawned on me I wasn't just screening calls, I was screening God. Let me explain. When I determine who I will talk to and when I will be available, I am in a sense closing the door on God's will. I am not open for service and opportunities to serve are jeopardized.

Last week I received a call while in the middle of devotions. I literally had just prayed, "God what do you have for me today? How can I be of service to you Lord." As if waiting for my prayer, the Lord was quick to respond. The Psalmist's very words put into action:

"Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, God," (Psalm 139).

It was a woman from church inviting me to attend a funeral for a young girl who attended our bible study. While I knew the woman calling, I did not know the teenager who was killed in a car accident. Still, I immediately believed the call to be an invitation from the Lord. Not twenty minutes later, a friend phoned and shared how she also received a call. While we were both unsure of why we were invited, we felt certain we needed to attend the memorial service that evening. We made arrangements and attended the service together.

The service was a beautiful tribute to the young life lost, yet, by the end of the evening I had a suspicion we weren't there for the grieving family. Sitting a few pews behind the woman who had phoned us, I felt maybe we were there for her. When we didn't connect with her after the service, I shared my thoughts with my friend who accompanied me. We both pondered the thought on the way home.

The woman came to mind several times over the next few days prompting me to phone her and express my thankfulness for her call. In so doing I reached her answering machine...perhaps she was screening my call! I left a message conveying the blessing of the service and how I was sorry for missing her afterwards. Shortly thereafter, my phone rang. This time, prompted by the Spirit I answered though the caller ID read "private number."

I am so glad I picked up the phone and took her call. A wonderful visit was had between us. Encouragement was shared as well as prayer. However, enlightenment regarding the memorial did not come until the end of our conversation. This sweet woman expressed how encouraged she was by my response to her call. The idea that I had received her message, accepted the invitation to attend the memorial service and followed up with a phone call of thankfulness, had richly blessed her. She shared her discouragement over the lack of responses she gets from her numerous calls to others. I was stunned by her words. "You are on my list of wonderful people," she said with sincere affection. Hanging up the phone I cried over the love and tenderness of God. What a beautiful thing he did for her. What a wonderful blessing He had given me!

Had I not prayed for God's work to take precedence in my day, had I not believed God was willing to accept my offer of service, had I not taken the call, I would have screened out God's blessings.

In the hustle and bustle of busy days I'm still tempted to screen my calls. Yet, I am newly determined to heed the Spirits prompting when the phone rings. After all, what phone can identify "heaven is calling?"

On Holy Ground

Some lessons are so hard to apply to our lives. Upon hearing them we understand the message and we agree with the wisdom in their meaning. Yet, try as we may, we struggle to put the lesson into practice on a daily basis.

For the past two weeks I have struggled under the weight of being obedient in an area of my walk with the Lord. Certain of the Lord's call, I knew it was useless to ignore the invitation to service. Still, I was inwardly trembling as I anticipated being used by God. Day by day I put myself to work in preparation for the appointed time, all the while pleading with God for his mercy and strength. Every effort put forth to give God my best seemed to easily fall into place. I could feel the Lord gently encouraging me along. Nonetheless, each day ended with a prayer for courage.

I was asked to do a dramatic reading of Psalm 139 for our church's recognition of Sanctity of Life Sunday. For some this would be no big deal. To me it was huge! The request was certainly reasonable considering the role I have played in the body these past fifteen years: acting, producing and directing dramatic sketches, musicals and various drama ministries. One would think such an opportunity would be a pleasure for someone who loves theater. So why was I trembling?

I believe my anxiety was stemming from fear of ridicule. I did not want to put myself up before others to be criticised and rejected.

In response to my pleading for release or mercy, God continually turned my thoughts to Moses. Though I knew immediately the association the Lord was making with this spiritual giant, like a rebellious child I continued my whining. In my own burning bush conversation I too questioned God's selection for the messenger. "Who am I Lord to go before..." the congregation? God's response was to me as it was to Moses; "I will be with you." A more trusting child's questions would have ended there.

However, my fear ran deeper than I realized. "What if they don't believe it is you who has sent me?" In other words, what if they think I'm seeking my own glory? Again the Lord spoke to my heart and assured me not to concern myself with the thoughts of others. I was to obey. Once more I tested God with my fear and echoed Moses by pleading my weaknesses. As if reading the from the ancient script, the God who is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow, silenced me with His response.

"Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go: I will help you speak..." (Exodus 4:11-12).

While I accepted the assignment, fear kept me on my quaking knees before God. Almost immediately I found myself ill and burdened with a deep chest cold. Sleep was difficult due to excessive coughing. I began to question whether or not I would cough my way through the dramatization. Again I cried out to the Lord.

I found myself repeating Moses once more; "If your Presence does not go with us (me), do not send us (me)..." (Exodus 33:15).

I seem to be in a period of testing: a time of expanding my trust. The theme of keeping my eyes on the Lord, trusting the goodness of God and obeying in faith seems evident in my recent situations. Recognizing the Lord uses everything as a conditioning tool for our character, faith and life's purpose, I must now set my focus on trusting the Lord. I must pray to trust Him more, pray for discernment to recognize opportunity to exercise trust in Him and pray I will have the courage to let go and trust His hand to "hold me fast," (Psalm 139). His efforts to bring this to my attention can not be ignored without possible harm or serious consequences to my journey.

If I continue with the story of Moses, I find that trust was critical to the purpose God had for Moses as leader of a people. Moses would have to trust God unquestionably to face Pharaoh, lead a massive exodus and govern a multitude of grumbling people. The challenge for Moses was heeding the Lord's instruction regardless of what others thought. God gave him no escape but He graciously granted Moses the ability to accomplish His vision.

Oswald states: "When we are born again, if we are spiritual at all, we have visions of what Jesus wants us to be. It is important that I learn not to be "disobedient to the heavenly vision"--not to doubt that it can be obtained." One way God speaks to me is through visions. Pictures in my mind that act as symbols, metaphors or simply a view of what something will look like. For example, one way I know when God is calling me to something like a dramatic reading, is He will give me a vision of myself on stage. Additionally, God will plant ideas in my mind that are attached to a picture. This pattern of communication between the Lord and I helps me trust I am in the will of the Father.

The Sanctity of Life services went well today. The church staff did a wonderful job putting together a blend of music, testimony, teaching, encouragement and drama all which emphasized the HOPE we have in Jesus. The theme of hope was perfectly suited for the message and a wonderful reminder for this seeking child. The Lord more than supported me, in His arms I was carried. I surrendered my desire to His will and though I did not feel calm in His hands, I had peace knowing I was doing the will of my Father.

As a result, my heart is full of thankfulness for the opportunity to grow my trust in God. His faithfulness was certain and I have yet another experience to point to, as I continue to grow in faith. Looking back I am so glad I didn't say "no" to His invitation. Not because I suddenly had a change of heart and was eager to go before the body...but because I trust God will use my gift to touch others. His word will not return void! Furthermore, the Lord is generous, there are blessings attached to obedience. I hope my relationship with the Lord grows deeper for my submission.

Submission is absolutely necessary for us to meet our true potential in Christ. Trusting God's big picture helps us take the small steps of obedience. Had Moses refused to obey God's command to remove his sandals, God may have chosen another leader for his chosen people. Had Moses refused to go before Pharaoh who knows what would have happened to the Israelites in Egypt. Had Moses faltered at any point and chosen to say "no" to any of God's commands, he would have missed out on a lifetime of dwelling in the presence of God, seeing countless miracles and beholding the glory of the great I Am.

God's word is very clear; "You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go..."(John 15:16). We must remember that God purposed works for each of His children before the beginning of time. When He "knit us together in our mother's womb," He had plans for our days, nights, weeks, months, years and life, (Psalm 139).

As I sat in the front pew waiting for my cue to take the stage, God once again gave me a vision of Moses: he was before the burning bush taking off his shoes. My body chilled from head to toe as the voice of God spoke to my heart:

"Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy ground," (Exodus 3:5).

Indwelled by the Holy Spirit, the Lord has revealed to me I am always on holy ground. For I am always in His presence. My body is a holy temple. Yet, there was a distinct difference in His meaning this morning. Through my obedience and my act of self denial for the will of the Father, I suddenly stood before the altar. I was pouring my desire upon the hot coals as a sacrifice unto the Lord.

My instinct was to remove my boots right then and there in response to the Lord's voice. A vision of myself barefoot upon the stage flashed in my mind. I confess I chose not to: what would people think. One step forward, one step back. This trust thing is not easy. I give myself some grace and remember to take it one step at a time. But if ever you see me barefoot on the platform, you can be sure of one thing, I have gone before the altar and I am treading on holy ground.