Living In The Spotlight

What did childhood dreams for your adult life look like? Did you imagine you were a successful ball player, model, painter, musician? Perhaps you had more noble aspirations to be: a doctor, nurse, teacher, fireman, policeman. Some of you may have desired to rule courtrooms, the Senate or even the Country. No doubt many desired to build careers, businesses, homes and families. Oswald claims; "We all have many dreams and aspirations when we are young..." Though I have enjoyed reading and writing most of my life, my visions of an adult "me",centered around one thing...the stage.

The first time I entered Mr. Moore's drama class--a high school freshman who had never seen a stage production--something awoke within me. The black rectangle room...a raised platform at one end...a single track of can lights...and a few rows of chairs. The space caused my spine to tingle. I knew instantly I had found a home away from home and I sought the spotlight like a moth.

My first stage role was Lewis Carroll's "Alice," in the freshman production of "Story Book Theater." My long blond hair and large curious eyes landed me the part with ease. The fact is, while most the roles I played were damsels in distress, what I enjoyed most about acting was the freedom to be someone...anyone...else. It was my great escape and chance to shine, apart from the cage of a home filled with nothing but darkness.

I could have been better, had I not been full of insecurity and pride. However, the stage became more than a passion my junior year. My mother died that January after a long and agonizing fight with cancer. Cast as the irate, Juror number Three in "Twelve Angry Men", I discovered the stage was also a safe place to express my pain. I snarled, growled and screamed my lines with passion. Enough to win the "Best Actress Award" that year. Only it wasn't fair...I had extra motivation for my character. Looking back, I thank Jesus I was gifted a role to match my state of mind. I doubt I could have played another part well that semester. Well, perhaps the Queen of Hearts!

I pursued my dream of stage life beyond high school theaters and beauty pageant runways. Alone in a sinful world, I ventured down a couple roads that could have been dead ends...literally. The reality the road to stardom is lined with hissing snakes scared me. And while it seamed to go against everything in me, I let go of my dream to be an actress. I packed away my character shoes and make-up kit and tried to live clear of the stage. In so doing,a GREAT BIG part of me died.

Oswald continues; "We cannot do the things we long to do, so our tendency is to think of our dreams and aspirations as dead."

Oh, but my story wasn't over. Three and a half years later, I found myself standing in a new spotlight: the light of Jesus. Raising me from the dead, the LORD called me out of the tomb of sacrifice and darkness and set me before our church altar: His stage. For God had...for me...the part of a life time: the eternal role as the daughter of the King of Kings. Rehearsals began immediately and I was consumed with developing my character. My spirit was on fire and I was inspired! I was finally in the role I was born to play!

Yet, God had "abundantly more" in store for this actress at heart. He cast for me a leading man, who is a delight to perform with and can sing like an angel. The cast of our drama--which was first primarily male--seems to grow every season. However, each member remains in the Light and offers their talents for the Kingdom. The blessings of my life stem not from my own strength, but from my own initiative. Oswald states; "God does not give us overcoming life--He gives us life as we overcome."
Yes, I used to have a dream to be an actress. How thankful I am God had a dream I would become so much more!

Bravo Jesus! Bravo!