Daydream Believer

The theme of overcoming continues in Oswald Chamber's devotional. Today the focus is on resisting the desire to "daydream" your opportunities away. "Daydreaming about something in order to do it properly is right, but daydreaming about it when we should be doing it is wrong.

Amazing evidence that God is for us and not against us--as well generous--is found in the continuation of Abraham and Isaac's story. These faithful men had demonstrated their devotion to God and in turn God lavished upon them blessing after blessing. In his old age, Abraham sends off his servant to find a wife for Isaac. The servant in sync with Abraham's relationship with God, mimics his approach to heaven's throne and..."Before he finished praying, Rebekah came out with her jar on her shoulder," (Genesis 24:15NIV).

A lack of idleness is apparent in this story. For Abraham sets a plan in motion, his servant sets out on a hunt, Rebekah responds with action to the call and Isaac receives his divine gift with appreciation. One does not see the "daydreaming" Oswald discourages in the primary characters. However, if we consider what could have happened--if any one of these principle's tarried due to "dreaming" about their situation--the importance of action in our lives becomes crystal clear.

Had Abraham merely considered the idea of Isaac taking a wife and not taken the initiative to obtain one for his son, Rebekah could have been lost to another. For the Word points out her purity as if it were unique; "the girl was very beautiful, a virgin, no man had ever lain with her," (Genesis 24:16). With God all things are possible. Still, a beautiful, young virgin--in any era--is likely to be a prize for any family.

The servant is inspiring with his eagerness to serve, honor and bless his master. There was no hesitation in his taking an oath with Abraham: he agreed to secure an appropriate wife for his son. Furthermore, the servant takes a straight path to the destination of Nahor. There was no stretching out the journey to gain a vacation, nor was there any contrary agenda. His mind was resolved to serve to the best of his ability. When Rebekah comes onto the scene, the servant responds immediately; "The servant hurried to meet her..." (Genesis 24:17NIV). He did not lose the opportunity due to questioning if she was really the right girl. Finally, the eagerness of the servant to return to Abraham is noteworthy. Rebekah's brother Laban requested, rather insistently, that they put off their leave for a week or so, however the faithful servant was determined to make a hasty return.

Rebekah's behavior is also noteworthy, because it demonstrates her readiness to respond to God. How quick she was to serve a stranger and quick to generously extend her service to his camels; "So she quickly emptied her jar into the trough, ran back to the well to draw more water..." (Genesis 24:20NIV). Everything about her response conveys Rebekah was eager to receive the plan of God. For while she was simply setting about her daily chore to fetch water from the well, the young lady was open to another plan of action. Her feet continued their quick response by running back to the house to share news of the visitor with the family.

The story however, is not without a conflicting spirit. For while Rebekah's brother, Laban first "hurried out to the man at the spring," he was not as inclined to keep a swift pace in letting his sister go,(Genesis 24:29NIV). For Laban had been quick to note the gold ring in his sister's nose and matching bracelets on her arm, (Genesis 24:30NIV). Furthermore, Laban's acceptance of Abraham's request came only after the servant had shared the great wealth of his master and how Isaac was the only beneficiary. Thus it is no surprise that come morning, Laban's eagerness to accept the will of God had been tainted...perhaps by greed.

"When they got up the next morning, he said, "Send me on my way to my master."
But her brother and her mother replied, "Let the girl remain with us ten days or so; then you may go."

On the surface, this request could be construed as a doting families buyer's remorse: prompted by the anxiety over losing their beloved sister and daughter. However, Laban appears on the scene years later: Jacob flees to his uncle Laban's home in order to escape the wrath of Esau. Laban's gross abuse of Jacob, in regards to taking his own daughter as a wife, suggests Laban to have a greedy and self-serving heart. Thereby, it is reasonable to believe in the night, Laban began to "consider" what he might gain through detaining Rebekah's leave. With "ten days or so..." Laban could gain more details of Abraham's wealth and perhaps devise a plan to tap into it(Genesis 24:55NIV). After all, Laban appears to have "saved" Rebekah for such a match as this.

The final call is deferred to Rebekah, who is most eager to comply. It is odd Laban gave his sister a choice in the time of her departure. Maybe he was hoping to give her cause to remember his "generosity" when she came into wealth. He obviously regretted it, fore he refused his daughter Rachael the same freedom years later. Thus, Jacob seems to have paid for his father Isaac's bride as well as his own.
Goodbyes are said and Rebekah submits herself to the Lord's will. The story could end here. A great lesson is found in the responses of all. However, our God is generous. He desires to bless us and therefore there is much more to consider in this story.

Abraham desired a proper wife for his son. Because he faithfully served God, the Lord provided a beautiful, young, virgin bride. One from his own family who had a heart eager to serve. The faithful servant, sought a blessing for his master and humbled himself before God in order to obtain it. In so doing, God, generously answered the mans prayer, "Before he had finished praying..." (Genesis 24:15NIV). And Rebekah, joyful in her service to others, walks away from everything in response to God's call. Her reward perhaps is the greatest. For, she is granted the inheritance of Abraham's treasure; "the Lord had blessed him in every way," (Genesis 24:1NIV). Considering the culture, she should have had very little or no say in her situation: she could be given to whomever her family chose. Wealth would of course provide a comfortable life, but love was rarely part of a marriage deal. Union was more about business and posterity than romance. However, in the goodness and kindness of God, Rebekah's submission to the Spirit of Love, grants her love in marriage. "So she became his wife, and he loved her," (Genesis 24:67NIV). How could we doubt we serve a God of love?

God is indeed generous to those who submit to his will. However, as this story illustrates, when we are quick to answer to His call, the rewards are great. For those--whose feet tarry while they "dream" about what they should do--it appears they risk blessings upon blessings.

Faith Filled Service

In the story of Abraham and Isaac, God reveals to us His desire to bless those who walk in His ways. This truly wonderful story is a picture for believers to understand how God moves within our normal every day circumstances. For every part of our lives--when devoted and surrendered to Him--will find His kind and thoughtful touch.

Oswald Chambers addresses the necessity to persevere through the drudgery of mundane tasks in life. He claims; "Drudgery is one of the finest tests to determine the genuineness of our character." Will we remain faithful in our work, though it be laborious and tyring, or will we be tempted to rebel or compromise? Oswald continues his message with; "In some cases the way a person does a task makes that work sanctified and holy forever." This is beautifully depicted in Abraham's story, though the character which shines through drudgery is not his.

It has been many years since Abraham and Isaac climbed the sacrificial mountain of Isaac's youth. These men remained faithful to God as the years passed and God remained faithful to His promise: Abraham was blessed "in every way," (Genesis 24:1NIV). Yet, sorrow must come to us all for a season. The death of Sarah, ushers in a time of mourning of a beloved wife and mother. Still, even in grief Abraham holds on to his faith in God. For he purchases a tomb for his family in the promised land of Canaan. In so doing, Abraham testifies to his trust in God to keep His word: that one day the land of Canaan--which God gave to Abraham--would belong to and be occupied by his posterity.

"Your descendants will take possession of the cities of their enemies, and through your offspring all nations on earth will be blessed, because you have obeyed me," (Genesis 22:17-18NIV).

Perhaps Sarah's death prompts Abraham to consider his own sleep to come. Thereby, he sets into motion the search for Isaac's wife. Commissioning his manservant to travel to the land of his father, Abraham gives careful instruction in selecting a bride. Abraham is wise not to mix his blood line with that of the Canaanites, for God had declared them an enemy in His promise, (Genesis 22:17-18NIV).

"I want you to swear by the Lord, the God of heaven and the God of earth, that you will not get a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I am living, but will go to my country and my own relatives and get a wife for my son Isaac," (Genesis 24:3-4NIV).

Thus, the servant quickly set out to do as his master wished. This servant's devotion to Abraham, testifies of God's blessing to provide devoted and faithful help. Likewise, we are granted insight into the spirit of Abraham: he appears to have been good to his workers. For this servant desires the Lord's blessing for his master. The two part company after Abraham assures his trusted "chief servant" with a promise; God "will send his angel before you so you can get a wife for my son from there," (Genesis 24:7NIV).

The ordinary task of this servant to do as his master pleases, is justly noted. For in performing his duties--though perhaps now on a grander scale--this man will see the work of the Lord firsthand. Years of listening to Abraham's prayers, as he dutifully tended his master day after day, no doubt taught this servant how to seek the Lord's favor. For upon reaching his destination safe and sound, the servant seeks the Lord's assistance through a prayer.

"O Lord God of my master Abraham, give me success today, and show kindness to my master Abraham," (Genesis 24:12).

The influence Abraham's spiritual life has had on his servant is remarkable. Not only does the man seek the Lord's favor in his service, he makes a specific request of God. This demonstrates his faith in the God of Abraham to honor his master. Though he claims Him not as his own God, the servant trusts the will of he Lord towards Abraham. Therefore, the servant's request for a specific "sign" is granted by the Almighty, and immediate praise is offered up in return by the grateful man.

The story continues with the "chosen" maiden coming onto the scene. Acting in the manner requested--to be a "sign" to the servant--thus bringing the search to a successful end. The man, so delighted with his answer to prayer, shares every account with the young woman's family. They in response concede to the Lord's will and soon the blissful servant is headed home: a beautiful bride for his master's son at his side.

While it is evident the servant set out, believing in the goodness of his master Abraham, I can't help but wonder--upon his return--if he was not a new believer in the goodness of God. For the experience of answered prayer can be transforming. I imagine the joy of this devoted servant as he presented Rebekah to his master. Can you not hear the praise of Abraham for a job well done? What a beautiful irony, for when the faithful child of God stands before their LORD and master, do we not desire to hear these same words? "Well done, my good and faithful servant."

Faithful service in drudgery will surely be rewarded. Strength to serve through drudging, is available to us all.

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. for everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him wo knocks, the door will be opened. Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to whose who ask him!"

Now that is something to ponder!

Rising Above Despair

The story of Esther speaks to us of so many things; love, sacrifice, trust, prayer, devotion and destiny. There is also, a profound message of evil which Christians should take special note of. For the hate which motivates Haman’s wicked plans, flows from an ancient source: it is the spirit of the anti-Christ seeking to destroy God’s people.

While this story focuses much on Esther and her struggle to save her people, we miss much of God’s message if we only see her faith. For Esther did not act alone, nor was she without council. Her cousin Mordecai continued his guidance in her life even when she was taken from his home and held in the king’s palace. For just as Esther was placed in a particular position “for such a time as this,” so too was Mordecai, (Esther 4:14NIV). He was a profound influence in directing Esther’s feet to the king’s throne.

The battle between Mordecai and Haman dates back to the time of the Exodus. While Mordecai’s people were God’s chosen: the son’s of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, the pernicious Haman also had a people: the Amalekites. These were the first to attack the Israelites after they had been delivered from Egypt and God thus declared them—forever-- enemies of His people. Now, nearly five hundred years later, the war Saul failed to put to an end--with the evil King Agag--was continued between Mordecai and Haman. However, when we look to the spirits that guide the acts of each man, we see the battle is truly between our great God and his adversary, the devil. This battle--we know— continues.

God’s warns us of His enemy. In fact, He instructs us to be alert and on guard; “Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour,” (1 Peter 5:8). Satan’s efforts today have changed very little: he works through the hands of men and women to wound, oppress, beat down and murder those God loves. Haman wanted to destroy Mordecai’s people yet, Satan wants to kill us all.

This is why it is so important for God’s children to remain in tune with His Holy Spirit. The Spirit teaches us the truth and is our comfort and strength in times of peril. When we face horrific circumstances and all hope looks to be lost, we must force ourselves to remember the immeasurable love of God. This God of ours is as close to us as our very skin, if we abide in Him. Therefore, we are challenged not to despair in fearful times. God’s word does not end with just a warning to be alert. His message continues; “Resist him, standing firm in the faith…” (1 Peter 5:9NIV). God would not tell us to do something we could not do, nor would he abandon us in the fight. In the power of Christ, we can resist the devil and therefore we can resist fear and despair. For there is always hope in Jesus.

Mordecai held onto his faith and it is what gave him hope in the midst of terror. Mordecai believed the goodness of God and saw His hand in Esther’s life. However, his insight was not handed to him in a dream. A prominent theme of the book of Esther is the absence of reference to God in the story. His name is not mentioned once. However, His Spirit is addressed in several ways. Mordecai expresses the heart of God by adopting Esther as a daughter. He remembers God’s laws though in exile in Persia. He teaches Esther the ways of the Lord when she is but a child. This is poignant, for Esther remained under Mordecai’s influence though she had gained the hand of King Xerxes; “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it,” (Proverbs 22:6NIV). Mordecai loved Esther and like Abraham, was willing to sacrifice his child though he knew not why he must do so. Esther, like Jesus, was willing to die for God’s children.

How does one over come despair in such trials? Tracing the steps of the faithful in this story provide a helpful example. First we see Mordecai cries out to God. His torn clothes and ash covered head convey his humble state before the Lord. We see he takes the initiative to find out the facts for himself and then looks for the hand of God in the situation. Next Mordecai refused empty comforts offered him. His mind stayed fixed on the issue. He therefore gains insight to the purpose of God. Mordecai then is strengthened by his trust in God. He responds by encouraging Esther to remain in God’s will and reminds her of His sovereignty. It is this demonstration of faith and obedience that Esther has come to trust in her cousin and in turn her faith is called into action. Esther petitions prayer covering and humbles herself to the Lord’s plan. She denies her body and thus shows her dependence on God to sustain her. God’s work consumes her as well and after THREE days of dying to self, Esther rises in the power of Christ and faces the enemy. Is it no wonder Haman hung from the gallows? Our God always defeats the spirit of death!

We certainly will face the wrath of sin and the enemy in our life on earth. However, we do not have to fall into despair. Though the kings of this world send out their edicts, the great I Am is in control. Fear not child of God! For a Kingdom plan is at work. Look for the hand of God in every situation and trust, “for such a time as this,” we are perfectly placed and purposed to surrender our all. Only God knows who will be saved through our obedience to the call.

Plowing Through Depression

When you first gave your heart to the Lord, did you believe the joy of your new love would last forever? Perhaps giddiness kept your mouth in a perpetual smile and caused you to act like a fool. Trials and suffering is the last thing on a lover’s mind when they are soaring on the wings of romance. Their thoughts circle around their attraction, emotions and hope of partnership for life. However, as all couples can attest, there comes a time when the fluttering of unfamiliar hearts settles into a calm of familiarity.

The passion of new beginnings can lead one to believe they would suffer the cross for one another with joy. Yet, often the routine of life in each other’s arms dampens our burning desire to suffer for love. Sometimes, we get too comfortable in our position and vows are forgotten: “for better or worse, for richer or poorer” become meaningless banter. Tragically, too many abandon love at the bottom of the hill, unwilling to carry a burden for the ones they love.

While some walk away and give up the experience of transformation, others remain on the cross of despair. They buy into the lie that Christians must suffer and they endure the nails in their hands and feet. Yet, their thoughts remain on Golgotha and they never move to Sunday morning. They allow the weight of the cross to oppress them rather than tap into the power of the resurrected Christ. This soul cries of loving sacrifice but never sings the song of GLORY!

Oswald states the obvious; “If we were never depressed, we would not be alive—only material things don’t suffer depression.” For we know life is not all hugs and kisses. Nonetheless, it is imperative for believers to remember in our times of pain and trial that we have an overcoming Spirit in Christ. This power-- within every believer-- has the ability to take what becomes normal, stale, even oppressed and breathe new life into it. For at the end of every winter is the regeneration of spring.

Still, the crop will not sow itself. The farmer must take the “initiative” to till the soil, plant the seed and so forth. The farmer rises before the sun, not because he wants to, but because it must be done. His daily chores are done with the hope of a rich harvest. The hope plays an important part in the life of a farmer. For their days in the sun are long. Without the hope of harvest, it would be senseless for them to endure the hardships of farming. What would inspire their hand to take hold of the plow?

When we face heartbreak and loss, though our very soul is pierced, we must not remain in the valley. The twenty-third Psalm says; “though I walk through the valley of death…” (NIV). God cares about and is sensitive to our pain. Yet, there is no glory for God in the pit. Therefore, though our spiritual muscles burn and our hands may be covered with blisters, we must rise to our work. We are responsible to labor and to trust. God is responsible for the rest. In the words of Charles Stanley; “Obey God and leave all the consequences to Him.”

We can become depressed when life doesn’t “grow” our way. Storms come and wipe out seasons of work and dreams. Often, more than profits are lost. When we don’t trust God is in control, or that He will see us through, we can become depressed.

Oswald shares how God’s prophet Elijah despaired over the threats of Jezebel. God sent a message to the depressed messenger… “Arise and eat” (1 Kings 19:5). God did not remove the wicked woman from the scene (yet), nor did He reveal to Elijah a vision of how things would play out. God merely told him to continue in life. Thus, the prophet had a choice. He could remain hiding, bound in fear, doubting God’s power and plan and destroy his testimony of the love and omnipotence of Almighty God. Or he could…”rise and eat”…trust God, obey God and glorify the Lord with his faith and work.

We don’t need to be visited by angels to break free from depression. We have the Holy Spirit of God within us. Therefore, as children of God, we can overcome the tombs of darkness and death. We must heed the voice of the Spirit which instructs us—at the appropriate time--to rise from the pit and eat. For just as Jesus, rose from the grave and ate once again with his disciples, so too can the child of God. How marvelous is the harvest! Oh, that we may sow love and reap great joy!

“Taste and see that the Lord is good.” (Psalm 34:8 NIV)

Living In The Spotlight

What did childhood dreams for your adult life look like? Did you imagine you were a successful ball player, model, painter, musician? Perhaps you had more noble aspirations to be: a doctor, nurse, teacher, fireman, policeman. Some of you may have desired to rule courtrooms, the Senate or even the Country. No doubt many desired to build careers, businesses, homes and families. Oswald claims; "We all have many dreams and aspirations when we are young..." Though I have enjoyed reading and writing most of my life, my visions of an adult "me",centered around one thing...the stage.

The first time I entered Mr. Moore's drama class--a high school freshman who had never seen a stage production--something awoke within me. The black rectangle room...a raised platform at one end...a single track of can lights...and a few rows of chairs. The space caused my spine to tingle. I knew instantly I had found a home away from home and I sought the spotlight like a moth.

My first stage role was Lewis Carroll's "Alice," in the freshman production of "Story Book Theater." My long blond hair and large curious eyes landed me the part with ease. The fact is, while most the roles I played were damsels in distress, what I enjoyed most about acting was the freedom to be someone...anyone...else. It was my great escape and chance to shine, apart from the cage of a home filled with nothing but darkness.

I could have been better, had I not been full of insecurity and pride. However, the stage became more than a passion my junior year. My mother died that January after a long and agonizing fight with cancer. Cast as the irate, Juror number Three in "Twelve Angry Men", I discovered the stage was also a safe place to express my pain. I snarled, growled and screamed my lines with passion. Enough to win the "Best Actress Award" that year. Only it wasn't fair...I had extra motivation for my character. Looking back, I thank Jesus I was gifted a role to match my state of mind. I doubt I could have played another part well that semester. Well, perhaps the Queen of Hearts!

I pursued my dream of stage life beyond high school theaters and beauty pageant runways. Alone in a sinful world, I ventured down a couple roads that could have been dead ends...literally. The reality the road to stardom is lined with hissing snakes scared me. And while it seamed to go against everything in me, I let go of my dream to be an actress. I packed away my character shoes and make-up kit and tried to live clear of the stage. In so doing,a GREAT BIG part of me died.

Oswald continues; "We cannot do the things we long to do, so our tendency is to think of our dreams and aspirations as dead."

Oh, but my story wasn't over. Three and a half years later, I found myself standing in a new spotlight: the light of Jesus. Raising me from the dead, the LORD called me out of the tomb of sacrifice and darkness and set me before our church altar: His stage. For God had...for me...the part of a life time: the eternal role as the daughter of the King of Kings. Rehearsals began immediately and I was consumed with developing my character. My spirit was on fire and I was inspired! I was finally in the role I was born to play!

Yet, God had "abundantly more" in store for this actress at heart. He cast for me a leading man, who is a delight to perform with and can sing like an angel. The cast of our drama--which was first primarily male--seems to grow every season. However, each member remains in the Light and offers their talents for the Kingdom. The blessings of my life stem not from my own strength, but from my own initiative. Oswald states; "God does not give us overcoming life--He gives us life as we overcome."
Yes, I used to have a dream to be an actress. How thankful I am God had a dream I would become so much more!

Bravo Jesus! Bravo!

An Anchored Witness

The question in today's devotional is weighty: "Has it ever dawned on you that you are responsible spiritually to God for other people?" Oswald begins his message with this heart stopping inquiry. Pondering what the Word has to say on this matter, I find I am inclined to sink deeper in my chair. How does one handle such responsibility with out feeling vulnerable? I am too aware of my own struggle to remain afloat in Christ, how then shall I "keep" another from drowning in sin? As if anticipating my self doubt, Oswald gently reminds me; "Our sufficiency is from God..." and God alone," (2 Corinthians 3:5NIV). Ahhh, a divine life preserver...to keep me from going under the wave of guilt headed my direction.

While I may have been saved from treading the sea of life in my own strength, I was not snatched from the water. No, God has work for me: "You shall be witnesses to Me..."(Acts 1:8). Though every part of my flesh desires to turn from the deep and paddle as fast as I can to shore, love for Jesus compels me to wade in the surf. For many still need rescuing from the turbulent sea of sin.

When I asked the Lord for a life application to today's devotional my thoughts drifted back to my young childhood. I do not enjoy wading in those polluted waters, therefore when I am prompted to return, I have come to trust the LORD is guiding me. Jesus has healed my heart, so I don't fear the currents of the past. Our journeys always cause swells of thankfulness. However, I tread cautiously, for I know the power of the deep. How thankful I am for the anchor of Christ!

We lived third house from the corner in a quaint neighborhood just south of the boulevard. Our brown lawn stood out among the sea of green on the block. However, the sharpest contrast to our shabby abode was found in the pristine Ozzy and Harriet home on our right. Our neighbors were as American Pie as it comes, right down to the white Patton leather shoes of their daughter. The perfect family of four: husband, wife, son and daughter, served as a constant vision of the way life was meant to be: at least in my young mind. He worked, Bonnie kept an immaculate home and the kids were perfect dolls...literally: they were always pressed and not a hair out of place. I took notice of their lifestyle and longed to be part of their family.

Bonnie showed kindness to me. I believe now it was the Lord acting through her. Many times she rescued me from childhood pranks. I was invited to lunch on occasion, and a few times I got to venture past the kitchen into their haven. There were even a few times she offered to cut my hair. Her kindness did not however, extend to all my family. I understood that Bonnie and my mother were not warm towards one another. While my older sisters tended to hold our mother's grudge, I simply could not. I was the recipient of her Christian charity and my young heart was drawn to our neighbors, regardless of family opinions.

A turning point in our relationship came when my younger sister and I were invited to join our neighbors in going to church. I jumped at the opportunity and did my best to make us presentable. I was six or seven years old at the time. The experience is well preserved in my mind. We had not attended services since our parents divorced and we no longer associated with the Mormon Temple. The campus was bright and pleasant and my experience in Sunday school has stayed with me. The soft voices, the felt story board, bible characters: the man in the white gown with the blue sash, the small chairs. I felt like I belonged and I did not want to leave.

My sister and I could hardly believe our good fortune was to continue with breakfast. Many of the parishioners had a ritual of eating at a chain pancake house after church. Our joy brought attention to our party and not long after entering the restaurant, a woman approached Bonnie. Her icy words are etched in my mind and still press upon my heart. "Bonnie, who on earth are these mangy little urchins?" I never heard Bonnie's response to the woman's cruel question. Perhaps God protected me from further injury. Nonetheless, Bonnie's coldness towards us afterwards cut deeper than the insult. My joy melted away as I turned to my little sister protectively. Her large eyes worked hard to blink back tears: anger squinted mine. The strawberry waffles with whip cream tasted bland as we sat in shame at the far end of the table, set apart. We said thank you all the way home but our hearts were heavy. We were never invited to go to church with them again. Sadly, a wall was erected between us and I was helpless to knock it down.

I wonder what of my life would have been different had my neighbors resolved to witness to us no matter the scorn of others. Certainly, Bonnie was compelled to reach out: her efforts are well noted up to the tragic day. I do not judge my former neighbors, for I understand how hard it is to keep your footing as the waves crash about us and in retreat try to draw us out to sea. My heart truly holds compassion for them. I myself have failed at times to be a good witness.

Oswald's questions continue: "Am I willing to be broken bread and poured-out wine for Him (Jesus)? Am I willing to be of no value to this age or this life except for one purpose and one alone--to be used to disciple men and women to the Lord Jesus Christ? The call to sacrifice ourselves for the sake of rescuing others is clear in God's message to us. Jesus was our living example of how to reach and minister to those lost at sea. His hand reached out to all: young, old, proud, humble, rich, poor, righteous, sinful, healthy, diseased. Jesus was not afraid to touch the dirty hands of a child, for He knew His love could wash her clean.

Though my dear neighbor appears to have drifted off course, the Lord was faithful in His pursuit of me. He sent several Bonnie's into my life, until finally one did not shy from the dirt of my past. This saint cried out to me,"Take hold of Jesus and be saved!" She spoke with authority and I responded. For her witness was full of compassion and absolutely anchored in Christ.

So, are we really to be our brother's keeper? I have only one response to this question: If not us then who? What service are we to Christ if we only save ourselves? We were commissioned to be fishers of men. Oswald inspires us to cry out over the crashing waves: "Take hold of Jesus and live!" For if we waiver in our devotion to His great cause, we risk being "set aside" in His work. The shame that follows such rebellion will likely make one seasick. Likewise, those who are not secure in their commitment to Christ can be battered by the open sea. I learned just a few years ago, a tidal wave crashed down upon my old neighbors: their family has tragically drifted apart. How the tide has turned. Now it is my turn to witness!!

Father God, hold me steady as I proclaim your goodness! For though I was lost at sea, I am now found. Anchored in Christ and Your Glory!

LIGHT In Darkness

Darkness is for me what the Himalayas or Kilimanjaro is for a climber: a summit challenge which would test every ounce of my humanity. While most individuals who set out to conquer such a mountain are physically fit and conditioned adults, I was but a young child when I began my climb. Unlike the adventurers who tackled their nemesis in the light of day, I had to tackle mine in the depth of night.

I grew up in darkness. This simple statement, while true, has several applications in my life. First, I was raised in a home void of the Spirit of God. While my mother's family claimed an association with the Lutheran Church, they were not connected to any body. My father's side, however, had ties to Mormonism. My youngest years were therefore spent in halls I remember to be dark and scary. Yet, a few light moments also remain of: a pleasant song; "Popcorn Popping On An Apricot Tree," a fanciful felt Santa craft, and passing of the communion plates in chapel. These images are unequally yoked with white collared visits in our home: where my younger sister and I were restricted to our room for the evening,and the horrifying witness of my sister's baptism. Coincidentally, my terror of that moment fueled a rebellion in my spirit which my parents had not the conviction to fight. They had a bigger battle on their hands...their marriage was over.

Darkness therefore took on a second form: the light of hope was put out as the darkness of divorce-before divorce was common--loomed about my family. Still, while others in our home were able to close their eyes and set aside the pains of the day, I lie awake, pinned to my bed in terror afraid of the presence I felt in the dark. Thus, literal darkness became a paralyzing third issue in my life.

Youthful attempts to find comfort in the company of siblings was refused me and my mother's bed--seldom occupied--offered no haven for a fear filled child. Therefore, my young and dangerously imaginative mind was left to fight the enemy of souls without a shield of faith or the sword of the Spirit. As one can imagine, my years in the dark were taxing: I was bound with fear and rightly so, for the tormentor circled me, his monstrous jaws opened wide for a kill.

Though the darkness stalked me like prey, he was not allowed to devour me. For my eternal destiny was held by the Light.

Oh, I wish I could take the time to tell you all the treasures of my journey. For the Lord was generous to mark the path with precious stones. No doubt your story of salvation is just as embellished. Yet, recently the Lord has revealed a truth in my story that fits with today's devotional: "Whatever I tell you in the dark, speak in the light; and what you hear in the ear, preach on the housetops," (Matthew 10:27NIV).

My father left us the summer before I turned five. The following four years we lived in our small Whittier home--until our mother remarried--were extremely traumatizing for me. My heart began to turn as cold as my mothers sheets, and I developed a "me against the world," mindset. I dreaded the night more than I can convey. Tragically, my oldest sister was fascinated with scary movies and in her youth thought my fear was humorous. I was exposed to the worst of sights and sounds while our mother was away from home. Sadly, in the middle of the night, my only comfort was the hall light. Sometimes, someone would leave the hall light on for me. Lying in my bed, I would stare at my open door, which was illuminated, and stood out against the dark room.

I was often puzzled by a strange "sense" that would come over me as a child while staring petrified at my door. A desire to grasp...something...thick and yet, thin and intangible. I remember how, the moment I tried to focus on the sensation it would slip away. However, it would return again and again: like something stuck in your peripheral vision. I remember this distraction being the only thing that would take my mind off the darkness that surrounded me. Often it held my attention until fatigue washed over me or the sun settled my fear. This feeling would sporadically come over me through the years and always left me intrigued.

A couple of years ago, I was experiencing the slow recovery from an operation. I was comfortably set up downstairs in our home for my period of convalescence. Once again, I found myself awake in the middle of the night. Only I was no longer afraid. Through strenuous effort, the Lord gave me the courage and the strength necessary to climb my mountain of darkness. Remarkably, we slayed the army of terrors, which brutally attacked me, while in the dark much of my life.

Lying in the dark--in a moment of communion--the familiar sensation of my youth came over me. Immediately, I was taken back to my childhood room: a vision of my bedroom door--washed in light--was before me. The momentary grip of fear associated with the vision was loosed and the tender voice of God filled my ears. "I was with you." The Lord revealed after thirty-five years, that He was the presence I had felt in my greatest moments of fear. His words were a balm to a childhood wound: "I will never leave you or forsake you," mended a broken part of my past. I cried out into the night: "My God! My God! What love! What mercy! That You would keep your word before I ever knew you!" The tender mercy of God called forth the trembling child within and together we found Peace in the night.

I wept such tears of appreciation that early morning. The thought of Jesus: standing in my midst, watching over me, keeping the devil a safe distance in the absence of parental care, overwhelmed me. I am still amazed at God's faithful affection. And, though my heart praises the Lord for his love and protection, a part aches knowing my Savior was so close and yet, I was years from beholding Him.

Oswald's devotional reminds us: "Sometimes God puts us through the experience and discipline of darkness to teach us to hear and obey Him." However, the Lord is faithful and though we may not "sense" his presence in our dark moments, He is with us. I have learned darkness is only the absence of light. In and of itself, darkness is harmless. What happens in the dark is what can harm us. We can allow fear of what looms in darkness to terrorize and immobilize us, or we can hold the enemy at a safe distance by bringing the Light of the World into our dark moments. When we do so, the presence of the Lord will surely captivate us. Darkness can NOT abide in Light!

The Lord spoke to me in the darkness. I have indeed seen the Light. Obediently I share with you what He has revealed to me. If you are in a moment of darkness, be encouraged...the LORD is with you! I pray you will sense His presence.

May the Glory of the LORD shine upon us all!