Our Very Great Reward

The more I face in life, the more I find that nothing comforts or satisfies my spirit more than Jesus. Material possessions, achievements and comforts are wonderful blessings. Yet, without the Lord's companionship, none of these matter. What I have learned most over the past few years, is that my relationship with God matters most and is my greatest treasure.

My husband, our children and their families fill my life with love and joy. I can’t imagine life without my husband, he is more than a spouse: he’s my best friend, confidant, advisor, playmate, sojourner, encourager and reality check. Likewise, my son brings more love and laughter into my life than I thought was possible. My step sons fill me with pride and keep life full of fun. And while life is not always peaceful or pleasant, this family unit is my pleasure and I am richly blessed and thankful to love and be loved by them.

There is no “but” in this situation. My family is what they are meant to be. God is also what He intended to be: my rock, my salvation, my comfort, my refuge, my strength, my courage, my all. The Lord is indeed “my very great reward,” (Genesis 15:1NIV). No one in my life could take God’s place, nor should I want them to. For it is through these roles, the Lord determines to build our relationship. If I allow anyone else to attempt to fill the Lords shoes, I will be tragically disappointed and will prevent a close friendship from developing with my heavenly Father.

When I was recovering after a major surgery a few years ago, I developed a new intimacy with the Lord. The days were spent in fellowship, praise and prayer. What could have been a monotonous and boring recuperation --with my family at work and school most of the time—actually became a treasured experience. It was during this time the Lord revealed His desire to be my main source of comfort.

God first reminded me of our history. When my mom died in January of my junior year in high school, I was fifteen, afraid and so angry that I cursed God and told him I wanted nothing to do with Him. God, allowed me to walk away from His comfort. My mother’s death soon became the first of many traumas following my rejection of God. Years later, after I had become a Christian, my father died as well. It was sixteen years later and death once again visited in the month of January.

This time though married with children, I was very much alone. My husband had been on the road to take our eldest to college. They had just arrived at my sister’s in Missouri after a two day drive of absolute misery: grid lock, snow storm, icy roads, car breakdowns, and then rental car breakdowns. They were exhausted when they finally reached my sister’s house just before midnight. Our middle son was away at winter church camp. I was home alone with our two year old son, when my step mom phoned with the news my dad had suddenly died.

Two of my sisters live nearby and yet I was unable to reach either of them by phone. My nephew had fallen asleep with the phone line switched to the computer and my younger sister didn’t hear her phone ring. I was completely without someone to comfort me in my sorrow. It was several days before my husband returned and nearly twelve hours before I reached anyone in my family.

It was during my recovery ten years later that I asked God why he allowed me to be alone in my greatest time of need. His response was a surprise and absolutely amazed me. The Lord revealed His desire to be the one I turned to for comfort. When my mom died I had cursed Him and turned to others. With my father’s death, there was none I could turn to…but the Lord. He wanted my sorrow and pain this time around. Since this revelation, I have come to see my moments of isolation differently. Now I see them as invitations to draw closer to God, and I no longer resent them.

Oswald Chambers, notes there are “delights” and “difficulties” in our friendship with God. In regards to the delights he states: “This friendship means being so intimately in touch with God that you never ever need to ask Him to show you His will. It is evidence of a level of intimacy which confirms that you are nearing the final stage of your discipline in the life of faith.” This intimacy doesn’t come without effort. Time is necessary, trust is crucial and obedience is a must to become one with God in mind, body and spirit.

According to Chambers, one of the signs that we are not as intimate with God as we may like, is indecision. “Whenever we stop short of our true desire in prayer and say, “Well, I don’t know, maybe this not God’s will,” then we still have another level to go. It shows that we are not as intimately acquainted with God as Jesus was, and as Jesus would have us to be—“…that they may be one just as We are one…”(John 17:22). The Lord desires to be intimate with us in times of sorrow and joy. He cares about the big issues in our lives as much as the little things.

Regardless of where we are in our friendship with the Lord, we have the gift of a perfect promise: when we seek the Treasure of heaven, we will find Him. God desires a deep and intimate relationship with us all. While blessings certainly abound in our relationship with Jesus, the God of heaven and earth, the Great I Am is indeed, our very great reward.